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→ Você Pode Evitar Que o Desamor se Instale em Nossos Corações?

O que é o amor?
O desamor é a evolução negativa do amor. O pólo oposto ao romance e o amor.

Quais São as Causas Mais Frequentes do Desamor?

desamor

Podemos destacar entre elas, salvar muitas contas pendentes, uma má gestão do cotidiano com contínuos mal-entendidos e desacordos que se deixam sem resolver. Às vezes acontece, depois de sofrer uma grande decepção ou perda de confiança, como pode ser após uma infidelidade, em que um dos dois sente que algo está quebrado.

Como Perceber Que o Desamor Bateu na Sua Porta?

O desamor é um processo muito doloroso, que se instala. Não é algo que acontece de um dia para o outro, mas que se vai curso devagar e silencioso. Por isso é muito construtivo nas relações de longo prazo, ter presente essa possível evolução e conhecer os principais para pôr remédio e que esse sentimento não avance.

Quais São os Primeiros Sinais?

Nas etapas anteriores ao desamor, há alguns sinais de alarme que, se as fazemos conscientes, podemos agir sobre elas, como por exemplo: esquecer datas de aniversário, que passe despercebido, uma mudança de olhar o seu parceiro…

Às vezes, reivindicações secretas de mais espaços pessoais e independência, as desqualificações, o que antes você gostava em seu parceiro que agora se transforma em marca negativa, deixar de estar presente em seu pensamento em um lugar especial… tudo isso pode ser sinal de que o amor está furando.

Conforme você instala esse sentimento, já vai sendo mais evidente. A convivência é cheia de censuras, tédio, adiamento, falta de atenção. Também se vêem danificados o desejo e o sexo. O estado afetivo do casal vai virando para emoções de sinal negativo, sente-se irritado, aborrecido e até mesmo triste.

É a evolução natural das relações de casal ou pode ser evitado?

Não tem por que ser assim. Mas, obviamente, perante os primeiros sinais, devemos ser conscientes e reparar o quanto antes.

É comum encontrar esta situação e o que os terapeutas fazem em relação a este problema?

Infelizmente sim o vemos com certa frequência. Quando é apenas o início e ainda evidentes os sentimentos do casal, trabalhamos com eles para “puxar” e reforçar essa parte amorosa da relação, que, às vezes, por divergências ou contas, é obscurecido.

Outras vezes, descobrimos que não há nem um resquício de amor e quando o amor se instalou definitivamente em seus corações, a terapia não serve.

Como posso prevenir o desamor?

O amor, como o amor, não surge de repente, como por arte de magia. É um processo em que, se não estamos atentos aos sinais que o nosso parceiro nos envia, talvez um dia se instale em nosso coração e já seja tarde demais para corrigi-lo.

Para evitar que isto aconteça, vamos tentar contribuir com algumas idéias que servirão:

Na intimidade de todas as relações de casal há aspectos que gostaríamos de mudar. Muitas pessoas, diante da demanda de mudanças e de seu parceiro, se refugiam ou se justificam dizendo: “eu sou assim!”.

É verdade que não é realista nem positivo pretender alterar a forma de ser do seu parceiro, mas sim modificar alguma maneira de agir que lhe incomoda, ou tem um impacto negativo na convivência. Além da defesa para o guardião de sua forma de ser, você terá que ouvir o seu parceiro e tentar fazer alguma alteração, para que se sinta melhor, sem que isso signifique uma renúncia a sua identidade.

Por exemplo, se o seu parceiro sente alguma assimetria no peso das obrigações domésticas e assim se faz saber, é necessário pegar essa “queixa” e fazer algo a respeito: que não caia em saco roto, confiando em que se resolverá simplesmente deixando passar o tempo.

No fundo, voltamos a falar do “saco de contas pendentes“. Se estas pequenas ou grandes queixas expressas uma e outra vez não estão interlocutor, nem observam-se atitudes de mudança, nem intenção, gradualmente enquistando e, finalmente, se vão colocar no saco das contas pendentes. Quando este saco imaginário está muito cheio e transborda, costuma passar o desamor.

De repente um dia você descobre que seu parceiro te olha com uma certa frieza e distância, porque não encontra no fundo de seus olhos aquele olhar de amor. Algo mudou, já é demasiado tarde para tentar fazer aquilo que tantas vezes te disse. Agora já deu. Triste verdade não é mesmo?

Desejamos com este post refletir sobre como evitar, na medida do possível, chegar a um ponto sem retorno.

Summary
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Você Pode Evitar Que o Desamor se Instale em Nossos Corações?
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Juliana Dias

Sobre o autor | Website

Olá, meu nome é Juliana, tenho 27 anos, sou apaixonada por assuntos relacionados ao mundo masculino. E estou aqui para ajudar você mulher a saber tudo sobre os homens, seja na arte da conquista ou reconquista. Espero que eu possa contribuir verdadeiramente em seus relacionamentos, e qualquer coisa entre em contato ;)

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